Held Captive
by unprettyxxgirl
Summary: Ellie has a passion Craig has a band Spinner has a secret how will it all end? [Ending Chap up!]
1. Secretive Black Book

Held Captive  
  
Ellie has a passion Craig has a band Spinner has a secret, how will it all end?  
  
Contains; Romance, Discussions about cutting  
  
Pairings; Ellie?, Ashley Craig, Marco Dylan  
  
Chapter One; Secretive Black Book  
  
+ - + - +  
  
"I'm never going to pass this class," I mumble to myself. Mr. Armstrong can be a real pain. Why do we need to learn all of this anyways? It's stupid and useless. The paper I held slumps down to my side hitting the locker I lean against. I bang my head back at irritation. What am I going to do? Alert, I hear high-pitched whispers. I look over at Paige. She is coming closer and closer her shoes silent. Okay, time to go. As I pull away from the locker I'm called.  
  
"Hey, Elle, um, you okay?" she asks. I turn and look at her. I sigh as my shoulders fall.  
  
"Fine, Paige," I say annoyed. She observes me and nods.  
  
"I mean, you didn't look too great this morning," she says coming closer. Okay, Ms. Soave.  
  
"Well it's the afternoon," I say in a snotty tone. She rolls her eyes.  
  
"Okay, Ellie, I can take a hint. Just, take care of yourself, okay?" she demands putting her hand on my arm as she walks away. I roll my eyes as she walks passed me. I bend down and pick up my bag and start off the opposite way. Okay, Paige saw my cuts or whatever, so what? She thinks I'm murdering people now. Last time I checked she wasn't my counselor. I keep my head down as I walk around the halls as I observe all of the scattered groups. Oaf! I wind up on the ground. I seem to have bumped into.  
  
"Spinner?" I say beginning to sit up. He is already half way up. I stay on the ground and look up at him. Angry. He extends his hand. I push his hand away and I stand up on my own.  
  
"Sorry, I was uh-"  
  
"Uh, not paying attention?" I finish for him. His face wrinkles.  
  
"Nice thing to say, El, I wasn't the one looking down at my gigantic black boots," he defends. I fold my arms and lean on my left leg. "Maybe next time you could actually watch where you're going," he says slowly as if I'm dumb. "Then, there will be no accidents on the road, I mean, in the place that we walk, you know, this floor-"  
  
"The hallway," I correct. He nods.  
  
"Yeah," he just stares at me. I sigh and nod.  
  
"It's okay, Spinner, there are people out there just like you, you can visit them at the mental hospital," I say placing my hand on his shoulder. He glances at his shoulder. I remove my hand and pick up my bag once again. I take Spinner's advice and look up this time. I throw my bag over my shoulder and cautiously walk down the halls.  
  
+ - + - +  
  
Lunch my favorite 'class'. I spot Marco across the room. He talks with Dylan. God Dylan! Always there, I can never talk to Marco without Dylan being there he's like, a second Paige. I shake my head and find myself at an empty table in the back left corner. I throw my bag down on the table and throw my head back against the wall. I hit it a couple times. I really need to get my life together. Okay, time to actually work. I take out Mr. Armstrong's assignment and the sloppily written notes. I study the notes before writing any answer checking it thoroughly. I bite my lip and I click my pencil on the table. This isn't easy. I jump when the table starts to vibrate. I sigh and take my cell phone out of one of the compartments of my bag. I look at the screen at the top of the phone. No one I know. Ignoring it would let me get back to the awful homework, accepting it would let me be evil to someone, which will make me feel better. I smirk and answer.  
  
"El," I greet waiting for response.  
  
"Oh, Ellie, right, I got your . . . black . . . thing," It's spinner. I groan.  
  
"What black thing, Spinner?" I ask annoyed. I roll my eyes. I hear a shuffle.  
  
"Uh, it's a black notebook that says MY WORDS, or something," I gasp. I hurry and stuff my homework and notes in my bag. I quickly zip it up. "Hello?" he calls. I hold the phone.  
  
"Spinner, I'll meet you at your locker, okay? I need that notebook," I tell him. I practically drag my bag out of the lunchroom. "And whatever you do, do not read any of it," I flip the cell phone back and grasp it. I run down the hallways my shoes make clopping sounds and my braids bounce up and down. I turn the corner to see Spinner leaning against his locker observing the cover of my book. I hurry over to me. I snatch it from his fingers and curious eyes.  
  
"Did you look in it?" I ask holding at my side. He shakes his head. I nod as I catch my breath. This is the horrible part. "Thanks," I awkwardly say.  
  
"You dropped it when we bumped into each other," he explains. I chuckle. Duh. He looks over to his right and pulls something from his pocket. "And this, too," it's my AFI CD. I grin and gently take it back and snug it against my notebook. "AFI, good choice," he points to the CD and nods. MY mouth opens wide.  
  
"You like AFI?" I surprisingly ask. He nods.  
  
"Yeah, they rock," Spinner says matter-of-factly. I chuckle and shake my head.  
  
"I thought you were into that mindless rap garbage?" I ask not trying to offend him. He chuckles and shrugs.  
  
"Shows how much you pay attention," He smiles. I shake my head and look at my CD as he walks past me. We have something in common? Me and dimwit Spinner? Am I dreaming? I shake the thoughts out of my head and start to walk to Ashley's locker, so much for lunch. I finally look up. There she is with Craig. Now instead of Marco and Dylan, it's Ashley and Craig! He isn't even that cute. I continue to walk down the halls I finally approach the two. They seemed very amused.  
  
"Oh hey, Elle," Ashley smiles. I throw on a fake smile and observe Craig. "Oh, we were just on the topic of someone's band," she explains to me looking up at Craig with sparkly eyes. Like I care- what band?  
  
"Band?" I ask. They both nod.  
  
"Yeah, Craig's idea, they don't even have a name yet," Ashley explains to me.  
  
"They?" I plainly ask for more information. Craig starts to inform me with detail. Gosh, does he ever comb his hair?  
  
"Me, Marco, Jimmy, and Spin," Craig nods tucking in his lips. No one asked for the members of the Spice Boys.  
  
"So, what do you guys play?" I ask. He tilts his head from side to side and his mouth turns into a frown and his teeth show.  
  
"I guess you could say rock," He settles. Rock? Seems okay, surprised Jimmy is into it. Ashley's eyebrows lift as she looks at me in a smirk with her arms folded and her legs braided.  
  
"Why so interested?" Ashley asks sounding as if she's teasing. "It's a bunch of boys complimenting their selves because they think they are the coolest things," Ashley jokes. Probably true. I laugh with her. Craig makes an 'ugh' sound as he rolls his eyes.  
  
"No it isn't thank you," he says directly to Ashley. They stare at each other as Ashley nods and continues to laugh. "But, uh, yeah, you two can come down today, we'll be practicing. Check us out, give us some input," Craig suggests. I nod as well as Ashley. Looks like this conversation goes nowhere now.  
  
"What's that?" Ashley asks pointing her head down at my black book. I look down at it for a second before returning my attention to the questioning Ashley and Craig.  
  
"Oh, this? Just stuff," I say keeping them a step away. Ashley starts at it and tries to pull it from my arms but I react and break it away from her interested fingers. Ashley chuckles as she looks up at me.  
  
"Sorry, forgot El has a personal life," Ashley jokingly says. I don't laugh.  
  
"I better go," I say turning around. "See ya later Ash, bye Craig," I wave as I walk away. Personal life? What does she think, I tell everyone everything? That made no sense. I will be checking out the band. It seems cool. A garage band seems fun to be in. Okay if I can clean my room in 10 minutes tonight, I'll go over Craig's. Good bet.  
  
A/N: Tell me what you think of it so far! 


	2. Think About It

Held Captive  
  
Ellie has a passion Craig has a band Spinner has a secret, how will it all end?  
  
Contains; Romance, Discussions about cutting  
  
Pairings; Ellie?, Ashley Craig, Marco Dylan  
  
Chapter Two; Think About It  
  
+ - + - +  
  
Okay, last class is over. Straight to my locker I go. Thank god Caitlin let me have awhile off, since she found out about my 'problem' she decided I needed some 'me' time. I mean, it was going great and all I love to write! But if I hadn't had time off, I wouldn't be able to go to Craig's. Ashley is supposed to meet me at my locker; we need to confirm how we're going to Craig's. She acts like we need a red carpet or something. Lets just walk separate ways so I don't have to wait for you to primp and you don't have to complain about the awful music. Yeah, Ashley changed this year. I wasn't here when supposedly she was prep. I couldn't picture Ashley prep, although when I saw the yearbook I could. Then, when we met, she was gothic. Then back to prep, which of course was decided by her 'love', Jimmy Brookes. Tamed. Then, now, Craig comes along, classic punk rock. She's into the beetles. Awful. I listen to stuff such as evanescence, three days grace, AFI . . . bad thought. She hates it. But sometimes I hate her. In a good way. I approach my locker and sure enough she stands there, talking to Paige. Paige? At my locker! She's so annoying! Yeah, she helped me talk to someone, but now she's stalking. I take a long breath before being questioned. I stop. Did Paige tell Ashley? No, she wouldn't. She's supposed to be hero. Gosh, hello! She is the gossip queen. It can't get any worse then to tell your biggest secret to the gossip queen, at least one of your great secrets.  
  
"Um, hi Ashley," I say. I deliberately say hi to only Ashley, as a signal Paige should leave. How nice can I get?  
  
"I should go, Hazel and I have to talk Spirit Squad," Paige says resigning from the conversation. I guess she caught my warning signs. Paige lifts herself from the locker. "Bye, Hun," she says, to me. I watch her pass and say nothing. Hun? That kills me!  
  
"I take it you don't like her," Ashley chuckles. I tilt my head from side to side.  
  
"Uh, no," I admit. Ashley laughs a little more. I get on with it. "So, you're going to Craig's right? You called your mom after lunch?" I ask. Ashley sighs and rolls her eyes.  
  
"Yeah, she said I can't go, that her and Jeff are going out tonight and I need to be home to take care of the house," she says as if it's her worst nightmare. My eyes widen.  
  
"You can't be serious? I can't go alone, I won't go alone," I tell her.  
  
"Please, Elle! If you don't go and I don't go, Craig will think we ditched it for something else! Plus, he needs some input. Don't leave him hanging," Ashley begs. Wow, this is pathetic.  
  
"Ashley, I'm not in love with the guy you are," I say. "I'm not going."  
  
"Ellie, please. I am not in love with him, we're just friends," Ashley persists. I chuckle.  
  
"Friends? C'mon Ashley, you hang on his every word and you praise him like some, Craig God," I shrug. She knows it's true. Ashley laughs.  
  
"All right, all right, maybe a little," she admits. I nod in a smile. "But you need to go, Ellie. Please," she begs once again. I groan and shuffle my feet. She makes pout lips and eyes that look up at me. I laugh.  
  
"Okay, just for a while," I say smirking at her pathetic attempt to be cute. Ashley laughs and nods.  
  
"Thanks, I owe you," she says. I nod in agreement.  
  
"Of course you do," I say half-jokingly.  
  
"See you later, Nash!" she calls as she happily walks away. I give her a quick wave before rolling my eyes and opening my locker.  
  
+ - + - +  
  
I look up at my old boring house and sigh. I walk up the stairs and open the door. The house is dark and only a lamp is on.  
  
"Mom?" I peak over at the couch. She isn't there. I walk into the kitchen and put my bag down on the kitchen table, where I find mom sitting down against the wall with a bottle of half-empty Vodka. "Mom!" I say concerned. I kneel down beside her and try to take the bottle way.  
  
"No!" she says half-present. I sigh. She starts to twist the bottle cap. I try to snatch it again.  
  
"Mom, stop it!" I say almost yelling. I take it from her fingers and sit it on the table. I look down at her, practically sleeping. I sigh again and kneel down. I put her arm over my shoulder and help her to her feet. "C'mon, mom, help me out here," I ask. She mumbles and groans as I basically drag her to the couch. She plops down with her feet hanging off of the couch. I bend down and correct them. I unfold the blanket above her head and neatly cover her up. I stand and observe her. I shake my head. I walk back into the kitchen and put my hands on the edge of the table where my bag, and her bottle of Vodka lay. I tap my fingers in confusion. I can feel the tears start to form. I quickly wipe them away. I have to be strong, for mom and me. I quickly take the bottle of Vodka and pour it into the sink. Not too much comes out. After doing that, I turn on the tap to make sure it has fully washed away. I pick up the bottle and throw it into the trash making a banging noise. I look over at mom, she doesn't move.  
  
+ - + - +  
  
I have cleaned my room in . . . I look at my clock . . . about eight minutes. Good. I go over to my closet. I pull out red and black tank-top with my matching arm warmers. You can still see the cuts still look nasty and red. I haven't cut since Monday, which is good. I'm trying to stop, I'm doing okay I guess. I keep the skirt I have on, the plaid one. I look at myself in the mirror. I tuck my hair behind my ears and fix my necklaces. I shake my head before heading down the stairs. Mom is still in the same position. I sigh away my thoughts. I try to speak loudly.  
  
"I'm going to my friend's house mom, I'll be back in a few hours," I say as I walk past her. She groans. "Okay, is that okay?" I ask. She becomes angry.  
  
"Good-bye, Eleanor!" she shouts. I shudder at the loud sound. I bite my lip and hurry out the door. I shut it behind me. I close my eyes and my head hits the door. Let me just get away from mom, go to Craig's and have some fun.  
  
+ - + - +  
  
I see Craig's house a few feet away. I look at the little piece of paper Ashley gave me with the address. I look back up and observe the house and the address. Yep, this is it. I slowly walk up the cement stairs and approach the door. I ring the doorbell. I wait for a second and I look around the neighborhood. The door cracks open and a familiar face appears.  
  
"Oh, hi, I'm Ellie, Craig asked me to come over and-"  
  
"Oh, yeah, come in," he said opening up the screen door and showing me into the house. I smile and nod and enter. He closes the door. "This way," he says. I follow him hearing my shoes clop on his wooden floor. We walk out his back door and into the garage. The garage has strung lights and electrical outlets everywhere. I look around. Wow. I see Craig being amused by Marco and Jimmy putting his guitar over his head. There is no one behind the drums. Marco spots me.  
  
"Hey, Elle, glad you came," he grinned. I shyly smile.  
  
"Craig, can I talk to you for a sec?" Joey asks. I get out of the way and awkwardly sit down on the couch, which isn't so comfortable.  
  
"Yeah, sure, Joey," Craig says. Joey, that's his name! Even though the two try to whisper, but I hear them quite clearly.  
  
"Hey, I didn't know you were going for her, I thought you were hooked on Ashley? Are you a player now?" Joey asks interested. I chuckle to myself.  
  
"Joey, please! Ellie is my friend," Craig explains. Friend? Joey puts his hands up and backs away.  
  
"My bad, my bad," with that Joey exits. Craig looks at me. I smile. Craig realized I have heard and blushes. Suddenly the door swings open.  
  
"Hey, hey! I have arrived, sorry you had to wait so long, hope I wasn't missed too much," Spinner arrives. I roll my eyes. Spinner observes me. "Look, it's Ellie! Hey, when did you get here?" he asks. He plops down beside me on the couch.  
  
"Apparently before you did," I say looking over at him. He shrugs.  
  
"Spin, uh, maybe you could come do your job?" Jimmy asks. Spinner nods. He walks over behind the drums.  
  
"So, what am I suppose to be the audience?" I ask uncomfortably. Craig nods.  
  
"Sure, just tell us what you think," Craig nods. I nod back.  
  
"Song number one, or number two?" Marco asks. One or two? They don't have names?  
  
"Two," Craig nods. They all agree. Spinner starts it off.  
  
"One, two, four," everyone starts playing and Spinner cracks up. I laugh too at the stupidity. Everyone looks at Spinner. "S-sorry, I just-" he uncontrollably laughs. I cover my mouth. Marco observes me. I stop laughing. Just leaving a smile. "Okay, I won't do it anymore," he promises. "One, two, three." The song starts out okay, low and soft. Then it tones into edgy and sharp. I smile and bob my head to the beat. The guitars sound good. Together and loud. The drums sound good too. I've always wanted to learn to play drums. I look over at Spinner. He nods and smiles as he hits each sound with his little stick thing. I giggle to myself. He looks up at me. His head does one hard nod at me. I smile and shake my head. It sounds really good, but there is no singing. Err . . . . bad. It ends with a long solo strum and a collage of different drumming sounds. I put my thumb up halfway and tilt my head from side to side and give myself a sour face.  
  
"You need a singer," I say looking at all of their faces.  
  
"We know that much," Craig says everyone nods.  
  
"Well then, who's going to be singing?" I ask. They all look at each other. I smile.  
  
"Who do you think?" Craig smiles' knowing it's he. Everyone groans. Craig looks around offended. "What?" he asks. I shake my head.  
  
"Well, how about you, Ellie?" Marco suggests. Everyone gets quiet and looks at me. My eyes widen.  
  
"What about me?" I ask. Not possibly sing.  
  
"Sing," Marco says. I chuckle and stand up. I shake my head.  
  
"Believe me, I c-can't sing," I say. Marco shakes his head.  
  
"I heard you singing in music the other day," he says. "Believe me, you've got all it takes, girl," he says smirking. Me? A good singer? This isn't happening. I stop for a second then I shake my head.  
  
"You guys will make a big mistake if you let me join and sing," I say.  
  
"Ah, c'mon, just think about it," he suggests. I stare at him for a second. Then I look at everyone.  
  
"Okay, I'll think about it," I finally say. Everyone nods.  
  
"Cool, well, uh, lets go out for pizza or something," Craig suggests. Everyone agrees.  
  
"That's cool, you guys go do that, I'll talk to you later," I say starting out the door.  
  
"No, Elle," Marco says sitting his guitar down. I look at him. "Come with us, we'll buy," he says tugging on my arm.  
  
"Okay" 


	3. Tears From The Clouds

Held Captive  
  
Ellie has a passion Craig has a band Spinner has a secret, how will it all end?  
  
Contains; Romance, Discussions about cutting  
  
Pairings; Ellie?, Ashley Craig, Marco Dylan  
  
Chapter Three; Tears from the clouds  
  
+ - + - +  
  
When we arrived, the Dot was packed! I didn't see a single table available.  
  
"I couldn't be working today, could I?" Spinner said to himself. Craig pointed to a table in the back and another one, further away. Everyone nodded but as we started to the tables, my cell phone rang. Spinner looked back at me. He stayed with me. I looked at my phone, the screen was titled: 911. Must be mom. I put the phone back on my hip.  
  
"Something wrong?" he asks. I nod.  
  
"Yeah, thanks for everything but I have to go, now," I say starting out the door. At first I only hear my shoes but then I hear someone else's, Spinner's.  
  
"Ellie, wait up," he calls. I don't stop. He can't follow me home. If he does, he'll see everything! My house, my mom, my life. Never going to happen. Wait, why would I care what Spinner thinks? This is weird. He walks beside me. I pick up the pace.  
  
"Spin, go back with them, okay? I'll be fine," I say. He shakes his head.  
  
"You look worried, what's wrong?" he asks. I stop.  
  
"Nothing is wrong, Spinner! Just, ugh, just leave me alone; you don't want to get mixed up in my life okay?" I shout. I start to walk away and he grabs onto my arm. I look back at him. He has gripped onto a cut, I cry out. He takes his hand back and I cradle my arm. I look up at him. He looks at my arm and me. Then I turn and walk away.  
  
+ - + - +  
  
"Mom?" I call as I enter the house. I walk deeper into the house. "Mom? Did you call me?" I yell. I look over on the couch. She is sitting up, dozing off. I sit by her side. "Mom, you okay?" I ask. She looks at me. Her eyes sag and her mouth won't even close.  
  
"WhereismyVodka," she slurs. I look down at my feet and into the kitchen. "Eleanor, whereismyvodka?" she asks again. I panic. I just look at her.  
  
"I threw it away mom," I whisper strongly.  
  
"Eleanor! That was my last one!" she shouts sounding quite clearly. I shudder. She comes to her feet shaking. As I start to stand, she does it. She smacks me. Hard. Hard enough that I fall backwards on the couch. I hold my cheek and look up at her. This is the first time in my life my mom has ever hit me, this hard at least. I start to cry. "Getmesomemore," she slurs again as she sits back down beside me. I whimper as I rise to my feet. A couple dollars lie on the table, but I couldn't get any Vodka, it's not legal.  
  
"Okay," I say. I take the money. Just pretend to get some more. Once again, I open the door and close it behind me. I hold my cheek. This is a one-time thing she is too drunk. She just needs some time to cool off, leave her alone for a while. I'll just go . . . somewhere. I walk down the stairs with the money in one hand and my hot cheek in the other. I look up. I'm alone, as planned. I start down the street; no cars pass by, no kids outside. I walk down a deserted alley. Suddenly, everything seems to become shadowed. A loud sound startles me and shakes everything, it seems. I look up and down comes the tears of the clouds. I sit down against one of the walls closing in the alley. I can't tell anymore if it's rain or tears that roll down my cheeks.  
  
A/N: Shorter chapter, hope you like it. 


	4. Assumptions

Held Captive  
  
Ellie has a passion Craig has a band Spinner has a secret, how will it all end?  
  
Contains; Romance, Discussions about cutting  
  
Pairings; Ellie?, Ashley Craig, Marco Dylan  
  
Chapter Four; Assumptions  
  
+ - + - +  
  
I come home late. I walk through the door and shut it. I make the lock click. I walk into the living room mom isn't there. I don't look anywhere else I really don't care. I walk up the stairs and I walk into my room. Everything is in place. The black and burgundy curtains still cover the outside and my room clutters from the dark colors that are painted onto everything I own. I can hear the snores coming from moms' room. I close my door and insert the silver chain into the metal beside it making sure I'm secure. I walk over to my mirror. Black lines go every which way across my face. I sniffle and I smear it with my shirt which leaves a red color across my cheek. After that, I quickly change into a blank black t-shirt and my black tiny shorts that hide under the shirt. I throw the wet clothes into the basket near my dresser. I walk over to my computer and turn on the screen. I push my chair back and sit down. I look at the icon down on my toolbar. It reads: Currently Connected. I click the email icon. Out pops my inbox . . . three new messages. Wow, a record. The first: Ashley.  
  
To: PunkRock101 From: PoeticTragedy Subject: Hey, Ellie!  
  
Hope the Craig thing wasn't such a bad idea. I hope you had some fun, at least you got out today! Unlike me. Stuck at home with the always- entertaining Toby. Sorry I couldn't come. So how was it? Were they good? Did Craig say anything about me? Well I really want to know all the details! Call or email me, all right? See ya!  
  
Ash  
  
I roll my eyes and laugh at the stupid letter. Obsessed or overly attracted? My mouse slides down to the button reading 'next'. The mouse clicks and opens an email from Liberty. I roll my eyes again. Nothing better than to read an email from Liberty.  
  
To: PunkRock101 From: 2Smart4u Subject: Grapevine Article  
  
Ellie,  
I'm pleased to say I read your article and I am very happy with it. It has great quality of writing and it will be published with honor. It's great to see such a dedicated writer. Unfortunately, we will have to edit just a bit. You show your feeling through it, which is great, but you do come on a bit too strong. I'm sure we can fix such a small problem in a short period of time. I'm open to meeting you at lunch Monday the 11th. Hope it's convenient because if it is later, we may not be able to publish. Thank you for such high interest in helping the school deal with these problems and I will be meeting with you soon. Please take this into great consideration, Ellie.  
  
Liberty Van Zhandt  
  
Okay, looks like I'm not going to be published. If I have a problem, it's never small and will never be fixed. I have to reply.  
  
To: 2Smart4u From: PunkRock101 Subject: RE: Grapevine Article  
  
Save it for someone who cares. Liberty I know you mean well, in some odd way, but I never wanted my article to be in someone else's words, I want my own. So, if you really liked my article, you'll publish it. I'm not editing my piece because it doesn't make everyone feel happy-go-lucky, it's called reality, something I'm allowed to expose. Now it's up to you: publish it or don't.  
  
|Ellie|  
  
I firmly press the mouse when it hovers over 'send'. I smile in glee. I move on to the next message. Haven't seen this address . . . ever  
  
From: Spinner To: PunkRock101 Subject: Hey  
  
Hey Ellie by the address I'm pretty sure you know who this is. I'm sorry I grabbed your arm I didn't mean to hurt you. I felt bad afterwards. But what happened? What were you talking about I shouldn't get mixed up in your life? I know this is your business and all but is it just me or do I feel something is wrong? Just try not to delete this email too quick, just worried.  
  
Spin  
  
Worried? Please. I click the 'reply' button.  
  
To: Spinner From: PunkRock101 Subject: RE: Hey  
  
Listen, nothing is wrong, I was just upset that you would actually follow me home. Anyways, my arm is fine. It's okay, I'm sure you didn't mean to grab me like I was running away with your spray cheese. Forgiven. Topic closed. Later.  
  
|Ellie|  
  
'Send'.  
  
+ - + - +  
  
I awake to the sound of the annoying birds outside my window. My eyes barely open. I make grunting noise and I can feel the frizz ness of my hair. I scratch it as I gradually sit up in my bed. I sigh as I jump to my feet. I look into the mirror. I look like crap. I shake my head and I start into the bathroom. Mom stands there, her eyes close and her head against the door. I remember yesterday. I can almost still hear the smack. I cautiously walk closer.  
  
"You okay?" I ask. Her eyes look into mine. She blows the hair from her face away.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I'm all right," she says. I nod and start into the bathroom.  
  
"I'm just gonna go take a shower," I say trying to walk past her. She nods as I walk into the bathroom. She starts to walk the other way. I close the door behind me. After disposing my clothes in the hamper and letting down my hair, I twist the knob which is suppose to result in actual water coming out of the faucet, but nothing happens. My eyebrows slant. I twist the other one and still nothing happens. I groan. I reach over for a towel. I wrap it around me tightly and I walk down the hallway and start down the stairs. "Mom! Mom, wake up!" I say. She looks at me from the couch.  
  
"What do you want," she says coldly.  
  
"Did you pay the water bill, mom?" I ask. She tries to sit up but fails. I stand there cold.  
  
"No, I didn't," she says not caring. I become furious.  
  
"Mom! We have no water! You can't just not pay our bills! You need to get off your ass, stop drinking, and become a mother," I say angrily. Now she sits up.  
  
"Don't you ever speak to me that fucking way you little bitch," she says loudly. My teeth grind. I just stand there in my towel. She has never spoken to me this way. Ever. I feel trapped, like someone in a cage. I swallow hard. She reaches over to the lamp, and in anger, throws it across the room. Aiming at me, I think, but misses slightly. I scream in fright. I sharply look at her. She groans loudly. "Just, clean it up later, get to school and out of my face," she says lying back down. How can I be scared in my own home? This isn't right. I stomp back up the stairs, run into my room and shut the door behind me. This is one of the worst hangovers. If I tell, I'll lose her. No one will even try to care. I really do believe she cares, when she's not drunk. So suck it up until dad gets back, it'll be all better. The big happy family all over again.  
  
+ - + - +  
  
Walking to school now. Left mom on the couch cleaned up the mess on the floor, and left. I stop on the corner of Degrassi Street, where I wait for Ashley. No surprise that she is by the school already with Paige and Hazel. I shake my head and start up to the school. As I try to slyly past the three, they catch me.  
  
"Ellie, hey!" Ashley calls. I turn around slowly. I smile sweetly.  
  
"Hey, Ash," I say as I approach the crowd. I observe Paige. She still has that look of concern. Everyone seems so interested in Ellie Nash's problems, what the hell?  
  
"I sent you an email, you never replied," Ashley starts to converse. I nod.  
  
"Sorry," I say. "Busy. Mom-" I pause. "I was just, busy," I say. Ashley nods.  
  
"So, Ellie," Paige starts. Oh no, the torture, the questions, the assumptions. "How has everything been going?" she asks. Gosh, you asked me that yesterday! I didn't become a huge popular witch like you Paige, no. What does she think? That my life is so interesting. No.  
  
"Nothing has happened in the last 24 hours, Paige," I say. She looks unconvinced. I bring my eyes back to Ashley. Lets go please, my eyes say to her. Ashley smiles. She hears them. She looks at the two.  
  
"I'll meet you guys in homeroom, sound good?" she says half-asking. The two nod. We start walking up the rest of the stairs.  
  
"Thanks, I really need to get away from her. I went almost blind from all the glitter she was wearing," I sarcastically say. Ashley laughs.  
  
"So, the band, was it good, or awful?" she asks. I nod.  
  
"It wasn't horrible," I say. "I just told them they need a singer. They only had the tunes, not actual singing," I add on.  
  
"That's good it wasn't pathetic. But yeah, the whole singing thing, who's going to sing?" she asks. I swallow and decide not to hear the question. I look the other way. I hear Ashley gasp. She touches my face and I flinch. "Ouch!" she says. I hold onto my face. This seems familiar. "Ellie, you have a bruise," she says to me. A bruise? Hm, I wonder where that must have came from.  
  
"Oh, that. I fell, when I was um," I try to think of an acceptable excuse. "Walking," I nod and swallow. I know she is about to ask the questions I usually hear from Paige.  
  
"Ashley!" someone calls from down the halls. We both stop. There is the waving Terri. Ashley looks at me.  
  
"I'll talk to you later," she says as a demand. She walks past me. I roll my eyes at the thought. I continue to walk to my locker now.  
  
+ - + - +  
  
Inside my class, Mr. Armstrong collects the assignments. I pass mine up to the ever-lovely Paige Michalchuck.  
  
"Elle, so, are you happy?" Marco leans over and whispers. I look at him and shrug.  
  
"About what?" I ask. He rolls his eyes.  
  
"Getting into the band," he reminds me. Ashley, listening, suddenly becomes interested.  
  
"In the band? Ellie, did you join the band?" Ashley asks surprised. I look at Ash.  
  
"No, I'm still thinking about it," I say.  
  
"What you'll be thinking about is detention because you'll be having it if you continue to disrupt my class, Ms. Nash," Mr. Armstrong says. I look up at him. "Ready to pay attention?" he asks. I nod. He continues on with his lesson.  
  
+ - + - +  
  
"So, are you going to join?" Ashley asks. I shrug.  
  
"I don't think so," I say. She doesn't seem to disapprove. I feel a slight discomfort. Suddenly, Craig appears. Ashley beams.  
  
"Hey, Craig!" she says happily. He grins at her then observes me. He manages to squeeze in beside me instead of sitting next to Ashley. Her smile fades. He looks at me.  
  
"So, I was wondering, why did you leave yesterday?" he asks. "Ya know, when we went out for pizza, you bailed on me," he says sounding as if we went out on a date. I look at Ashley. She seems suspicious.  
  
"I was needed elsewhere," I say simply. Ashley observes me in jealously.  
  
"Oh, well, have you thought about officially becoming a band member?" he asks. I stare at him.  
  
"No not yet," I nod. He nods back. He then looks at Ashley. Ashley puts on a fake smile and then evily looks at me. After a unpleasant conversation with Craig, I'm left alone at the lunch table with Ashley.  
  
"Wow, seems like you had a great time at Craig's," she says flatly. I just look at her.  
  
"It was cool," I say looking down at the table.  
  
"Cool enough to let him take you out," she makes it sound like I was sneaking out with him. I look up at her.  
  
"Take me out? He asked if I wanted pizza," I correct her.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry, he took you out for pizza after he let you join his all-boy band," she argues. I look at her strangely.  
  
"What are you saying, Ashley?" I ask. Ashley stands up.  
  
"Nothing, just maybe letting you go alone to Craig's house was a mistake," she says starting to walk away. I stand up too.  
  
"Are you jealous?" I ask. She turns around. Almost everyone was watching.  
  
"So you admit it, you're dating him?" she asks misunderstanding. I throw on a confused face.  
  
"What? No, I"  
  
"I've found you out, Ellie. Can't believe you would to that," she says looking as if she would almost cry. She makes her way through the crowds. Everyone stares. This isn't my best day. 


	5. Carvings In My Skin

Held Captive  
  
Ellie has a passion Craig has a band Spinner has a secret, how will it all end?  
  
Contains; Romance, Discussions about cutting  
  
Pairings; Ellie?, Ashley Craig, Marco Dylan  
  
Chapter Five; Carvings In My Skin  
  
+ - + - +  
  
Today just isn't my day. Right now, I'm hiding from everyone in a stall. In the boys bathroom. Boys because it was empty. Besides, Paige and her group we're planning on skipping the first two minutes of class on redesigning their faces. She would have left me alone. So, here I am, in the boy's bathroom. Awkward. I think about what has gone on. Mom goes on a rampage, Ashley gets overly jealous, and Spinner is on my case. I hide my face in my hands and I feel like screaming. I go into my book bag, which is beside the toilet. I open up my binder. Past the CD collection and the notebook section. In the back, I find my protractor. I stare at it. Then, I press it onto my arm. Nothing comes out. I press a little harder. I practically stab my arm and only a small stream comes out. This isn't enough. I press as hard as I can and I carve a VERY wide wound. It's bleeding so fast, so much. Much more than before. I feel dizzy all of a sudden and cold. I start to shake and the blood starts falling onto my clothes. My breaths seem shorter. I reach up with my other hand to get some paper but my arm feels weak and it falls back down. I feel sleepy. The room starts to fade into black and then I pass out.  
  
A/N: Very short chap. 


	6. Stay With Me

Held Captive  
  
Ellie has a passion Craig has a band Spinner has a secret, how will it all end?  
  
Contains; Romance, Discussions about cutting  
  
Pairings; Ellie?, Ashley Craig, Marco Dylan  
  
Chapter Six; Stay With Me  
  
+ - + - +  
  
I awake to the mumbles of words around me. Everything seems blurry at first but then all comes into focus. I still feel shaky and cold. A man covered in blue clothing looks down at me. I blink.  
  
"She's coming-" is all I hear. I blink again. "Eleanor? Eleanor, can you hear me?" the man asks. I try hard to nod. I think I do. Where am I? I try to sit up, but I seem too weak. I lay back down. "I'm Dr. Rios-"  
  
"What am I doing here?" I whisper.  
  
"Eleanor, just continue lying down, okay?" he says.  
  
"My name is Ellie," I say firmly. My head pounds and my arm throbs. Oh my gosh! My arm! "Where am I? Why am I here?" I say a little louder.  
  
"Please, stay calm, Ellie. Try to relax," he says.  
  
"I am relaxed. Please, tell me, why am I here?"  
  
"A young man named," he looks at a paper. "Mr. Gavin Mason found you in a washroom stall back at your school, where you were discovered with a great amount of blood-" I cut him off by sitting up and I ignore the fact that my arm stings. "Please lye back-"  
  
"Spinner saw this?!" I say almost shouting. I begin to panic. He presses down on my shoulders.  
  
"Please, just get some rest," I jerk away from him.  
  
"Don't touch me!" I say loudly. I start to get off of the bed and then through the door he comes. Spinner. Standing there. We stare at each other. His eyes are wide and worried. I can't breathe.  
  
"Ellie," Spinner says coming closer. The doctor approaches him.  
  
"Let her rest, Mr. Mason. She needs to stay calm," he says to her. He nods. I get back into the bed and cover myself up. I just lye down hoping he will go away. I stay still. I look in the other direction. I can hear Spinner say something then I hear the door shut. Something tells me it wasn't Spinner who left. I hear creeks coming towards me.  
  
"Ellie," Spinner whispers. My eyes shift.  
  
"Just go, Spinner," I say. Silence falls. Then I finally speak, "you weren't meant to see me like that," I find myself caught up in trying to converse. He sighs.  
  
"It's a mystery to me why you would do something like this to yourself, Ellie," I can hear anger in his voice.  
  
"It's no mystery," I snap.  
  
"What is so horrible about your life that you have to cut yourself over?" He asks. I flinch at the word. I swallow. I decide not to answer but cry. I bite my lip and all of a sudden I know he senses me weeping. "Ellie, it's just that," he pauses. "People shouldn't hurt their selves for nothing I mean it's stupid-" I cut him off. I turn to him tears streaming down my cheeks.  
  
"It's not stupid! No one listened, Spinner! Everyone was damn concerned but no one ever helped! All I got were questions I always answered the same," I sob. He looks at me deeply. I cry hard.  
  
"I never knew about anything, Ellie. I would have done anything I could to help," he says sweetly.  
  
"It's kind of too late don't you think?" I say burying myself in the pillow. "You can't help me."  
  
"You scared me," he says. I sniffle. "When I found you," he continued.  
  
"I didn't think I would be found," I admit. He looked like he was going to cry.  
  
"I didn't know what to do, I-I thought you were dead," he tripped over his words. I look up at him. "Even if you think I'm some cold heartless stupid guy, I'm not. I do have feelings," he assures me. I look down at my arm. Covered in bandages that have turned red. "You were bleeding a lot," he says.  
  
"Spinner, I wish I could stop but I-" I pause. "I just need someone who really cares," I sob. I'm telling Spinner this out of all people.  
  
"I wish I would have known sooner. I would have done something. Stayed with you," he said ignoring my arm. I look up at him.  
  
"You would have stayed with me?" I ask. His eyes sparkle.  
  
"Ellie, I would have done anything for you! Okay, you doing this scares me you're hurting yourself. Ellie, you could have died," he gives me the lecture. I nod and look down at my arm again. He keeps his eyes on me. "Yeah, I would have stayed with you," he finally answers. It sounds weird, to be doing this in a hospital in this situation, but I smile. Somehow I find a way through all my miseries and smile at him. He wipes his nose and starts to walk away from my side. "I should get going," he says.  
  
"No," I call out. He turns and looks at me. I bite my lip. "Stay with me," I say. He looks around before coming back to my side. He bends down alongside me and he takes my hand into his. I lye there and look at him even as my arm aches, I still feel happy. This is beyond me, why I'm holding Spinner's hand. But he's staying with me, that's all I've ever needed. From anyone.  
  
A/N: This story has all emotions. Ellie and? Craig or Spinner? I think you'll know. 


	7. Air From My Lungs

Held Captive  
  
Ellie has a passion Craig has a band Spinner has a secret, how will it all end?  
  
Contains; Romance, Discussions about cutting  
  
Pairings; Ellie?, Ashley Craig, Marco Dylan  
  
Chapter Seven; Air From My Lungs  
  
+ - + - +  
  
"Mr. Mason, sorry to interrupt, but there is someone here for Ellie, someone who wants to talk to her in private," The doctor walks in. Spinner and I both seem confused. Who would want to talk to me? Who else knows? Spinner nods and looks at me his eyes asking 'who?' I don't answer. He just walks out. His eyes meet someone else's. He politely smiles. Who could it be? The doctor turns to the mysterious visitor. "Visiting hours will be over not too long from now," he says. Then he nods and walks away. I watch the door. Then, the mystery is out. She walks in. Look decent as ever. My mom. She looks like a real mom one that doesn't get drunk. She doesn't look like she has picked up a bottle before. She probably hasn't since yesterday, that is. She smiles at me. The door closes behind her.  
  
"Mom?" I say kind of angrily. When she looks back at me her lips purse and her eyes look sharp. She walks swiftly over to me.  
  
"What have you done?" she says quickly. I knew she wouldn't care. Before I can speak she looks down at my arm. "This is horrid!" she grips my arm hard and picks it up. I cry out in pain and pull it back. "This is not a way to solve problems, Eleanor!" she says quietly. I look at my arm.  
  
"Solve problems? Sorry mom if I don't drink to solve mine," I harshly say. It's the truth. She wouldn't hit me here, or yell at me.  
  
"You wouldn't know anything about my problems. This isn't a time to bring up stupid things," she says.  
  
"Really, because I think it's a perfect time!" I start to raise my voice. "This isn't a minor thing, mom," I say more quietly. I arise.  
  
"I'm having trouble with my drinking, I admit. But this, this is a disgrace! What will people say about me? Our family?" she asks. I feel like the outcast to my family. Like I'm the problem. I'm the thing people love to hate. I feel like hitting her. I want her to know what it feels like to be unwanted and hated.  
  
"I'm tired of being the one thing you take everything out on. I'm a person too mom!" I say starting to yell. Really yelling. "We don't have a family, mom! We don't have friends we don't have anyone! You chased them away! The only person who has really ever been there was me! If I weren't there, you wouldn't survive! You know it's true!" I scream. She looks furious and disgusted with me. I hear shoes coming towards the door.  
  
"You'll regret this, Eleanor," and with that, she walks out. Those few words from my own mother send me into uncontrollable tears. I lye with my back turned to the door and letting the pillow muffles my cries. I know Dr. Rios must be awfully confused. He runs to my aid.  
  
"Ellie, where is your mother going?" he asks. I wipe my tears on my pillow and remove my face from it to breathe. I stay still and I know my face is fierce.  
  
"She's not my mother."  
  
+ - + - +  
  
I stay in the hospital over night. They kept me on suicide watch. Doctors came in every other hour making sure I wasn't in reaching distance of any object. I slept most of the time. Then the morning came. I awoke by myself, which is a first. I lye there for a second. Then, to the side of me, I hear a sound. My head turns. There in a chair beside me is a woman who is writing out something on a clipboard.  
  
"Who are you?" I ask. She looks up almost astonished at my face. I ignore her look. She places the clipboard on the floor and smiles.  
  
"Hi, um, I'm Ms. Coleman, I have been told that you're Ms. Eleanor Nash. Am I correct?" she asks finding it hard to remember my name.  
  
"Ellie," I say. She puts her hand to her ear.  
  
"Pardon?" she says. I roll my eyes.  
  
"Ellie. My name is Ellie Nash," I say to her. She then nods.  
  
"All right, Ellie," she says slowly. She stands up. "I was told that you have been hurting yourself and that you were found in a bathroom stall," she says squinting her eyes. I sit up; it's a lot easier this morning. I just watch her eyes. "I'm here to help you, Ellie," she says sweetly. I shake my head.  
  
"Help me? This isn't happening," I say lying back down.  
  
"Ellie, I know this must be hard for you. I think I can help, well not me exactly but-"  
  
"I have a counselor at school I don't need another one. When I return to school, I'll make sure to see her," I say annoyed. It's quiet for a second.  
  
"I'm sorry, Ellie, but you won't be going to school for a while," she says squinting her eyes again. I look at her confused.  
  
"What do you mean?" I ask almost frightened of the answer.  
  
"Your mother and I talked, we both think it's the best decision to send you to a place where you will see a more advanced counselor and we can make sure you won't do this to yourself again," she says calmly.  
  
"No, no. I'm fine really! I've learned my lesson, I swear!" I shout.  
  
"Sh, Ellie, Ellie, please," she says signaling to calm down. "This will help you," she finally says.  
  
"No, I won't go. I'm not going to some Mental Hospital," I finalize the conversation. She sighs.  
  
"You'll be escorted to the hospital in less than an hour, I'll let the doctors know you need your clothes," she starts to walk out. I start to scream.  
  
"I won't go! You can't make me!" I scream. She shuts the door behind her. I rip off the bandages revealing my stitches. It's red and risen. I make myself get out of bed. My feet finally touch the ground. I retie my hospital gown and start out the door. No one notices. I continue to walk down the halls. Then I hear a voice.  
  
"Excuse me! Miss! Miss, where are you going?" she calls. I mumble.  
  
"Not to that damn crazy house," I continue walking. Suddenly, Dr. Rios appears in front of me. He grabs onto my shoulders.  
  
"Eleanor, you shouldn't be out here," he whispers calmly to me. I start to cry.  
  
"Please don't make me go with her," I sob. "Don't make me go there," I say. I let my head hang. He leads me back into the hospital room. He closes the door behind me and I look up at him. Show some sympathy.  
  
"Just three days, Ellie. I want you to go for at least three days," he says. I bite my lip.  
  
"Let me go home," I sob. He shakes it head.  
  
"3 days. That's all. Then you will be free," he explains to me. "I want to make sure you're fine," he nods.  
  
"But I am, I am. Look at me," I cry.  
  
"Yeah, look at you," he says referring to my crying. "Lets just see how it goes," he walks out of the room. I turn around to the clothes on the bed. New ones mom must have brought. The others must have had bloodstains everywhere. I look at them and everything seems to squeeze the air from my lungs. I collapse on the floor and begin to cry loud and hard, hoping, someone will let me go. 


	8. Get Better For Me

Held Captive  
  
Ellie has a passion Craig has a band Spinner has a secret, how will it all end?  
  
Contains; Romance, Discussions about cutting  
  
Pairings; Ellie?, Ashley Craig, Marco Dylan  
  
Chapter Eight; Get Better For Me  
  


* * *

  
Dear Diary,  
  
Okay, they want me to keep a diary but they say they won't read it. Okay, right. So, it's day one in this hellhole. No one in here will understand me. I'm me. I'm in this room. Locked up like some rat. The person who stays next door is really . . . creepy. In the middle of the night, she'll start knocking on my wall and screaming. What the hell? I'm not that crazy now! Tomorrow I have to talk with this girl, Jacqueline I think her name is. She used to be a cutter, they say. Almost died, like me. They think this will help. Doesn't anyone get it? They can't help me! I'm the only one capable of my own actions, okay? Of course I have nothing to cut with. Why would I cut? So they can keep me in her longer? I'm not stupid. Mom hasn't called or visited. Which I don't even know if you can do those things here. I know she won't. Something inside of me is saying she wants me here. I'll have to face her sometime.  
  
I close the diary and slip it under my pillow. I sit on the edge of the white bed. This isn't me. Suddenly, the door opens. In comes a woman. With long red hair and thick black rimmed glasses.  
  
"Hello," she politely says. "You must be Ellie," she says half- asking.  
  
"Someone got my name right," I say. She chuckles.  
  
"I'm Darlene," she says. "But you can call me Darla, all my friends do," she smiles. I nod.  
  
"So does someone need to see me or something?" I ask. She shakes her head.  
  
"No, not really," she sits on the bed next to me. "I hear the stories," she finally said. My eyebrows slant.  
  
"Stories?"  
  
"About how you ended up in the hospital, that must have been a rough time for you"  
  
"Rough? Please, rough isn't the word"  
  
"That bad, huh?"  
  
"This place is horrid, how could you stand being here?"  
  
"Working here isn't so bad. I get to help people"  
  
"Help. I've been hearing the word a lot lately"  
  
"I believe you. Most people do want to help, you just got to let them in"  
  
"No thanks"  
  
"Tell me, why do you cut?"  
  
"That's not a topic I really want to get into"  
  
"Oh. Well, is something wrong at home?"  
  
"Home? I don't have a home. I have hell"  
  
"Someone must care for you"  
  
"Yeah, okay"  
  
"Ellie, you seem like a really nice person. But I see you need work on your social skills"  
  
"And I see you like to butt into people's lives quickly, huh?"  
  
"I'm just curious"  
  
"About what? Knowing what the life is like of a girl who slits her wrists?"  
  
"There must be some explanation for it"  
  
"Yeah, the razor was right there"  
  
"Ellie-"  
  
"Go"  
  
"No, wait. I'm sorry"  
  
"Go," she arises from my bed and takes one last glance at me before opening the door and closing it behind her.  
  


* * *

  
"Phone call," Darlene says cracking open the door. She doesn't dare to step in. I walk over to her.  
  
"Phone call? I can get phone calls?" I ask. She nods.  
  
"You're not in the no-phone-calls state," she jokes as if nothing had happened yesterday. I bite my lip.  
  
"Sorry," I start, "about yesterday," she nods.  
  
"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't get into people's worlds like that. I'm a very curious person," she admits. I nod. I follow her out of the room and down the halls. It seems to take forever before we enter another room. The room is dim and cold. We walk over to a brown desk with scattered papers that are lit by a silver metal lamp above it. There is a phone the sits on the desk. She points to the phone. "Just pick it up and press four," she says. I nod. She nods back and starts out of the room. "I'll just be outside," she says. Once she leaves I sit down in a brown on-wheels chair. I reach over and pick up the phone. What if it's mom? I breathe. I put it to my ear and press four.  
  
"Hello," I say quietly. The other end shuffles.  
  
"Ellie! Ellie, it's me," the voice is very familiar. Spinner.  
  
"Hey," I say with a slight smile.  
  
"I heard you were in . . . that . . . place," he says. I bite my lip.  
  
"Just until tomorrow, then I'll be out. I'll have to catch a bus to get home," I say. "Moms car broke down I guess. At least that's what I'm told," I say. He sighs.  
  
"Ellie, I'll be there tomorrow to pick you up, okay?" he says. I smile.  
  
"Yeah, thank you. Really," I say in gratitude.  
  
"So, how are you?"  
  
"Pretty good. I really hate it here. It's almost the lunch hour, which I hate, too"  
  
"Meet anyone you like?"  
  
"In a mental hospital? Uh . . . no"  
  
"Ellie," he pauses. "I really want you to get better. I want you to be happy," he adds on. I smile wider. In the worst situations, I seem to smile. I hear the door start to open. My smile fades. "And I really want you to be with m-"  
  
"Ellie, um, lunch hour, time to get off," Darlene tells me. I nod not hearing what Spinner was about to say. I hold up my index finger.  
  
"Sorry, didn't get that last part, what did you say?" I ask. I can hear a gasp but then he sighs.  
  
"Nothing, just – just, get better, o-okay?" he tells me. I nod.  
  
"I have to go, Spin. See you tomorrow," I hang up. I really hope I do get better and I really hope for relief when Spinner comes tomorrow.  
  
A/N: This was also called 'Discussions Created' also; I got a question from someone (sorry I forgot your name). None of the doctors knew Ellie's mom was in that situation. The fight wasn't really that bad so they ignored it, I mean, it probably is common for the mom to flip out! The doctor only heard what she said when he opened the door which wasn't much. So there's the answer. Thanks for getting into it though lol. It's great that you like it! 


	9. Cries Of Two

Held Captive  
  
Ellie has a passion Craig has a band Spinner has a secret, how will it all end?  
  
Contains; Romance, Discussions about cutting  
  
Pairings; Ellie?, Ashley Craig, Marco Dylan  
  
Chapter Nine; Cries Of Two  
  
+ - + - +  
  
I'm scheduled to leave at 1:30pm and right now it's 10:25am. I haven't slept. I'm too anxious to leave. I need to get away from here. I lye on my bed and look up at the boring ceiling. There were no phone calls left from mom. Not really that surprised. I haven't written in the diary since that day, I think it's useless. Today I'm also put down for talking to that Jacqueline chick. What will she tell me that I already don't know? Don't cut, it's not good for you, it's dangerous, what the hell? I know this, it's just, addicting. I picture my mom or my hatred as I cut. It's like releasing my tears. Something that I should be doing instead of cutting. Darlene said her sister Vicky cut and she came here. Not like it helped. She committed suicide the next day. She didn't get into the details. I don't know about suicide. Something tells me it's wrong and something tells me it's a big decision. It's the end to your life, the end of everything. End to worries. Somewhat wrong somewhat right.  
  
I can't get the thought of Ashley out of my head. Craig and me? Please. I'd like to date someone who can actually do their hair. She was just jealous that I got into the band. Although he did seem to come on a little strong at lunch. Maybe she does have a reason for being angry. But that is no excuse for blowing up. Craig really isn't my type. But how would I know? I dated a gay guy. Shows how much luck I have. Right now, I don't have a crush. I'm strictly single and not interested. At least, I don't think so. My door gradually opens and my head turns attention to it. In comes Darlene with a smile on her face. After her, is a girl with somewhat dark skin. She had black braids that flowed down her back. She didn't look quite as happy but didn't look mad. I sit up.  
  
"Hey, Ellie," Darlene whispers. Darlene reaches behind the girl and closes the door. The girl wears a gray sweatshirt that has pockets, which she hides her arms in. She has matching gray pants that fit tightly at the top and gain width at the bottom. Downwards, she wears white socks and some blue Nike slippers. She isn't big at all. She seems short and skinny. Her eyes are a chocolate brown and her lips are full. "Um, well, this is Jacqueline Williams. She was a recent patient here," Darlene explains. I nod. "We've asked her to talk with you, so I'll be back in about an hour. Or maybe even less, sound good?" Darlene says half-asking. We both nod. She nods too and silently walks out the door, shutting it behind her. Darlene walks closer examining the floor. I keep my eyes on her.  
  
"So, you're Ellie Nash," she introduces me. I look at the floor too where she sweeps her feet across.  
  
"Yeah," I say flatly. She sits on the bed.  
  
"I was in here not too long ago. About three months ago," she starts- off. I lay my eyes on her, as hers stay stuck to the floor. "I was cutting. Pretty bad. I ended up in the hospital. After I passed out at my friends house," she explains.  
  
"Sounds slightly familiar," I say. I look at her. "So who paid you?" I ask. She finally looks at me confused.  
  
"No one paid me. They just asked if I wanted to talk with someone who went through something similar," she explains. I chuckle and shake my head.  
  
"Look, I don't need some girl tell me everything is going to be fine. You don't know what I'm going through. You have no idea!" I say standing up. She stands up too.  
  
"Are you calling me a liar?" she says firmly and a bit offended.  
  
"No," I tell her. I open up the door so she can leave. "I don't need to remind you," I finish. Her lips purse and she sits back down on my bed and folds her arms.  
  
"I'm not going to leave," she says stubbornly. I shut the door.  
  
"Why do you all want to torture me so badly?" I ask bluntly. "I mean, can't you see I've been through enough?" I say walking up to her.  
  
"What would you know," she says seeming awfully upset.  
  
"Know about what?" I ask. She looks up at me with her glassy eyes and tense face.  
  
"Why exactly did you start to cut, Ellie?" she asks. She really wants a conversation. This is one good actress. I don't know whether to believe her or ignore her. I fold my arms and sit back on the bed.  
  
"Why would anyone cut?" I ask knowing the answer. "Stress," I simply say. Then she looks at me.  
  
"I started because I was forced," she said, her braids covered her face as she stared at the floor. I looked at her strangely.  
  
"Forced?" I ask confused. She nods.  
  
"My mom. Sh-she was a lunatic. She would put me in the back room and lock it. I would be left with some water and a sheet with holes. I didn't have light or anything," she paused, "and she made me cut," she sobs. I still can't piece it together.  
  
"I-I," I didn't know what to say. "She watched you?"  
  
"She said that if I didn't cut I'd get beaten. I had a choice. Hurt myself or she would hurt me. So, there, in the dark, I'd find something sharp. Usually long rusted nails or pieces of broken glass mom would leave after starting a fight. I'd cut myself. I found that it helped and it did. After a while people got suspicious. I was never at school, never outside, and all my friends were deserted. Then one day my Grandma found out after she came back from Africa. She took me with her and my mom was taken to jail," she cries very little. I seem to have formed tears myself from hearing this story.  
  
"So, you got better? You stopped cutting?" I ask interested. She shakes her head.  
  
"It only got worse. I skipped school, I did drugs, I drank," she looks up at me. She was crying. Her tears make her face shiny and red. "And I cut," she whispers. I bite my lip. She starts weeping and I too start to cry. She finds her way into my arms and I feel awkward at first. Then I hold her as she holds me.  
  
"I feel so stupid," I whisper. We both pull away and we wipe our tears.  
  
"Why?" she asks sounding muffled.  
  
"People have it so much worse. But it's not like I have the perfect life," I say sitting my hands between my legs.  
  
"Does your mom h-hit you?" she dares to ask. My face sharply turns to hers.  
  
"No," I lie. I turn back. "I mean, once," I admit.  
  
"Once can turn into something huge, Ellie. You should get help now," she says in a firm yet worried voice. She places her hands on my arms. I jerk away.  
  
"My mom is fine. She-she just, she just needs to learn control. She doesn't abuse me," I explain a little offended. "She just needs someone to help her. Guide her through," I say. Am I defending her?  
  
"Ellie, you are not in any state to help anyone," she says.  
  
"I can't just let her end up in here! Who will I stay with?" I say. This is all too much for me. I swallow. "You don't get it! I don't have anyone. I don't have a Grandma, I don't have someone," I yell. She stands up and so do I.  
  
"Ellie, I don't have anyone either. My grandmother died, okay? You can't just stand here and do nothing! That won't get you anywhere! If you give up you'll end up like a nobody. Either you do something or you don't! Your call," she says mildly shouting. I shake at her words. As much as I hate to say, she's right, she is. If I do nothing that's what I'll end up as. Nothing. I blink my tears away. The door opens and Darlene pokes her head in. We both watch her.  
  
"Oh, um, I heard yelling. Is everything okay?" she asks. I gradually look over at Jacqueline who stares at Darlene.  
  
"Yeah," she says. "I was just leaving," she looks at me and I look back. Darlene nods and walks out. "Remember what I said, Ellie," she says starting to walk to the door. I just stare. "And try to find help for your mom before things get worse," she says a bit mad. I cringe at her words. She knows what it's like and she knows what's the best for an ordinary person with this kind of problem. But I'm not ordinary. I can't go back to mom's house. Everything will just be the same. I'll go somewhere anywhere but there. I go back over to my bed. I sit down. I look over at a piece of ripped paper Jacqueline must have left. I reach over and grab the small ripped paper. I smooth it out to read it. The words encourage me. I swallow. I look up at the door that Jacqueline left open. I stand up and peak my head out. I see Darlene walking down the halls and mysteriously, Jacqueline has vanished.  
  
"Darlene," I call out. She looks back. "Before I leave," I pause and look at the little piece of paper one more time, "Could you make one last phone call?"  
  
A/N: so what did the note say? Who is Darlene going to call? Okay. Hope u liked the chap. Kind of boring but sorry lol 


	10. A Web Of Us

Held Captive  
  
Ellie has a passion Craig has a band Spinner has a secret, how will it all end?  
  
Contains; Romance, Discussions about cutting  
  
Pairings; Ellie?, Ashley Craig, Marco Dylan  
  
Chapter Ten; A Web Of Us  
  
+ - + - +  
  
I sit there. With my hands tucked between my legs and my eyes stuck to the floor. My feet won't stay still and neither will my eyes. I just hear Darlene talking. I bite my lip. What will she say? What will she do to me? The phone clicks a second time. Then silence falls before us. I become still and only my eyes look up at Darlene who has her fingers laced together.  
  
"Ellie, are you okay?" she asks her eyes squinting. I don't move for a second. What did she mean? I slightly nod. She nods back. "What you're doing is great, okay? Don't feel bad, or scared," she assures me. If only it were that easy. "Your mom," she paused. "She unquestionably agreed to do it," Darlene stood up. I looked up at her.  
  
"She's going to get help? She agreed to stop drinking?" I say standing up too. She smiles.  
  
"She said she'll enter the program, Ellie," she said happily. I try to smile but only get a smirk. Will she really get help for her drinking? Will everything be the same? I'm not sure.  
  
"Thanks for everything, Darlene," I say still smirking. She grins.  
  
"Ellie, it's not problem at all!" She looks up at the clock. We both do. Then she looks at her watch. "Hey, it's 12:40! We better get you ready!" she says sweeping me aside. I watch her.  
  
"I've been ready since I got here," I say walking after her. As we walk, I hear a familiar voice. I look up but don't see anything accept the long hallways. This is the first time I ever even worry about my arm. I look down at it. It's covered with my arm warmers but I can see the slight rise of my stitches. I try to ignore the stings I finally realize.  
  
"E-L-L-I-E, N-A-S-H," a voice says slowly. I know that voice. As I approach my room and look around the corners ahead of me. I see the tips of his uncombed hair. Craig. My eyes widen. He catches a glimpse of me. The lady in front of him goes on.  
  
"You can not be in section of hospital," the Mexican lady tries to say. "You leave now, please, now," she says starting to grab his arm. We stare at each other for a second before he hurries over to me. "No! Mister! No!" the lady calls out. Darlene pokes her head out of my room.  
  
"Ellie," he says almost in a whisper. I say nothing I'm too scared.  
  
"Excuse me," Darlene stands in front of me almost for protection. "You are not scheduled to see Ms. Nash. I'm afraid you'll have to leave," she says. I stay quiet.  
  
"No, I just want to talk to her, please?" he asks. The lady stands behind Craig.  
  
"He can't be here. He not allowed. He-he ran through doors after told no," she says with her strong accent. Darlene looks back at me.  
  
"Do you know him?" she asks. I look at Craig. I nod.  
  
"Yeah, he's-"I pause, "my friend," I finally say. Darlene looks at the lady.  
  
"Maria, there is no problem here okay? I will take care of this young man, all right? You go back to work," Darlene says. The lady shakes her head.  
  
"No, he not suppose be here," she calls out. Darlene takes her to the side and looks back at me and mouths 'quickly'. I nod and look back at Craig. I turn away and walk into my room. He follows and shuts the door behind him.  
  
"Ellie, I just found out, you were," he stubbles over the words. "What happened to you?" he asks. I turn to him and, with a slight hesitation, stick out my arm, and pull down my arm warmer. He observes it. I pull it back up. "Ellie!" he says a little loudly. I bite my lip. "Spin said you did something stupid," he looses breath. Spinner told?! I pull my arm away.  
  
"Spinner told you?" I say firmly trying to keep my voice down. He stares. I turn my back to him. I look down at my arm and bite my lip hard to stop the crying.  
  
"Ellie, why would you do this? Doesn't it faze you?" he asks. I swallow.  
  
"Yeah, it hurts me, Craig. But so does everyone else. So why does it matter?" I say practically in a whisper turning back to him. His mouth is partially open.  
  
"It does matter! This is so," he can't find the words, "someone could have helped you," he says. I shake my head. I thought I knew someone who would be there, who would . . . stay with me. That person seemed to know nothing. I can't believe he told!  
  
"No one can help me," I say to him. He comes closer and points to himself.  
  
"Why not me? I've been through some deep stuff too, Ellie," he says. "I could try," he explains.  
  
"What would you know about my life? Why would you ever want to help me?" I ask angrily.  
  
"Because I care about you!" he says louder. Things become quiet. "I care a lot," I see his Adams apple bounce. I nod.  
  
"Thanks, but every time someone says that, they end up proving it wrong," I admit. He looks angry. He shakes his head and walks out the door. I start sobbing as he slams the door with a great sound and vibration. It stirs me. I end up falling onto my bed that absorbs my tears and my broken heart.  
  
After a while Darlene enters the room and shakes me. I look up at her. I must not have looked like I was crying because it didn't seem like she cared much.  
  
"Ellie! Ellie, do you know what time it is?" she asks concerned. I sit up.  
  
"No," I say grabbing my knees to my chest. She puts her hand on my shoulder. I shrug it off and she doesn't dare to comfort me anymore.  
  
"Well, I won't ask what happened," she says quietly. "But it's 1:30 and your ride isn't here yet," she says. "Your things are packed like you said. Lets wait in the-"I cut her off.  
  
"He told me he'd meet me up the road," I lie. I grab my black bag as soon as I jump off the bed.  
  
"Oh," she says. I look back at her.  
  
"Yeah, so I'll just go," I say. She hurries to me before I open the door.  
  
"Ellie, maybe we could talk before you leave? You don't look ready yet," she says. I look back at her. I sigh.  
  
"I've been ready, Darlene," I sob. She looks confused. I try to chuckle. "I'm just worried what people will think of me when I get ba-"I pause, I blink my tears away, "I just want to get away from here," I nod. She nods back. She grabs me and hugs me tight. I oddly hug back.  
  
"God bless you, Ellie Nash," she says. I nod as we pull apart. I swallow my tears and start walking away. I know she watches me walk down the halls as I think about what to do now.  
  
+ - + - +  
  
After escaping, I start down the street. With my light bags and my uncomfortable shoes. I watch the cars go by. None of them Spinner. I shake the thoughts out of my head and hope I'm going the right way. It is until I see a big black truck. A boy with a black cap on drives and a blonde headed boy looks out the window. Spinner. I noticed I've stopped and so have they, next to the street. I look back at them but then continue walking. I hear the car door shut and then running feet down the sidewalk behind me. I don't stop.  
  
"Hey, Elle!" he calls. I stop and spin around.  
  
"What do you want?" I snap. He reacts.  
  
"Anyway to greet someone who has come to save you?" he says.  
  
"Save me?" I ask. He does nothing but squint from the sun that beams down. "No thanks, I can walk home," I say turning back around and start walking. He stops me.  
  
"What's wrong? I thought you wanted me-"  
  
"To not tell everyone that I-"my voice trails off. His eyes soften. I stare at him. I shake my head and try to walk again.  
  
"Is that it?" he asks. My eyes widen when I twirl around again.  
  
"Spinner, you told my most horrible secret! I thought you wouldn't tell anyone!" I say louder.  
  
"I only told Craig," he says honestly. "He was asking about you, so I finally told him and I only said that it was something serious," he goes on. He comes closer. "I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd get mad," he says in a whisper. "Really, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that, it wasn't my business to tell."  
  
"Well," I start but don't finish. I look down angry at not completing my comeback. He smiles slightly.  
  
"I missed you," he sweetly says. I look up at him. I smirk. We both chuckle.  
  
"You're such a cornball," I say. We both start walking back to the truck and before we reach our destination, his hand creeps over and slyly jumps into mine. I look over at him as he looks back at me. We smile at each other. I wish this walk would last forever.  
  
A/N: hope u liked the chapter! 


	11. Hit On, Hooked Up

Held Captive  
  
Ellie has a passion Craig has a band Spinner has a secret, how will it all end?  
  
Contains; Romance, Discussions about cutting  
  
Pairings; Ellie?, Ashley Craig, Marco Dylan  
  
Chapter Eleven; Hit On, Hooked Up  
  
+ - + - +  
  
Spinner and me sit in the back seat of the huge truck. The truck is very nice. They boy in the front, Jason, looks no older than 16. His wearing black baggy pants with a navy blue jersey on. He also has a cap on and he has a small mustache, he's not exactly built but he's not a wimp. I wonder if Spinner told him. He hasn't talked to us really, except when we entered the car he said something about us being young people in love. Like he knew anything. Spinner's arm is around the seat behind me, not exactly around me. We are sitting close though, but I'm not on his lap. I move towards him more. I don't know why I'm doing this. He looks at me and I smile.  
  
"Go ahead, laugh," I say placing my eyes straight ahead.  
  
"At what?" he asks staring directly at my face. I look back at him. We are so very close.  
  
"I'm actually being nice to you," I say. That is kind of weird. Just the other day I was saying how stupid he was and how I hated him and that he belongs in the mental hospital. Shows how much I know. He shrugs.  
  
"It's because you like me," he says matter-of-factly. His smile is big. I can feel my face get hot and I look down. Now I hear him chuckle. I look back up at him. "I like you too," he says in a deep whisper. I chuckle a little.  
  
"That doesn't mean that you can't try to impress me and make a complete fool of yourself," I joke. He laughs too.  
  
"Ha, thanks for the suggestion," he says. I shake my head and look forward again.  
  
"So, why were you there? Ya know, at the MH?" Jason asks. I say nothing. Spinner must not have told him. Good.  
  
"She-she had volunteer work," Spinner so smartly says. I bite my lip. Jason nods. I swallow.  
  
"Pretty and nice," he says raising his eyebrows and looking in the mirror that reflects on me. I don't know what to say to that. He seems to be coming onto me. I now realize he has his eyebrow and lip pierced. I also saw a flash of a tongue ring. Not something I can exactly hate on a guy. Spinner replies.  
  
"Aye, shut-up, dude," he says a little angry. Jason chuckles and I seem to have a small one out too unnoticeably, to myself that is. Spinner looks at me.  
  
"Dude, take a joke, she's all yours. Remember, I have a girlfriend," He shakes his head as we turn a corner. I put my hand on Spinner's arm.  
  
"Calm down," I say. He sits back. "I'm a big girl," I add on. We sit for a second. "Besides, I have a boyfriend," I continue. His head turns sharply. We just stare at each other. A smile creeps on his face and then he actually lets his arm down around me. I sit my hand on his chest and with my head and wait to arrive at Spinner's.  
  
A/N: I know another short chap. Sorry I just thought that this needed to be the conclusion. They finally get hooked up! This a special chap focused on this. It is confirmed; Ellie and Spinner are now an item. Lets erase that little question mark shall we? Oh and if you didn't notice, I was foreshadowing in the beginning of the story. When Ellie tells Spinner he is like a person in a mental hospital. Watch out for that! Sneaky me. 


	12. Stand Up

Held Captive  
  
Ellie has a passion Craig has a band Spinner has a secret, how will it all end?  
  
Contains; Romance, Discussions about cutting  
  
Pairings; Ellie Spinner, Ashley Craig, Marco Dylan  
  
Chapter Twelve; Stand Up  
  
+ - + - +  
  
Once we reach Spinners, I had already fallen asleep. I didn't realize what a long ride it would be, I didn't notice to before. He too fell asleep; Jason had to shake us awake. I felt sort of embarrassed. I looked up at Spinner's house. Doesn't look too much of a dump, it actually looks really nice.  
  
"Dude, why are we at your house?" Spinner asks wiping his eyes. That's why.  
  
"Does it matter?" he asks. I look at Spinner. He looks at me. Jason starts up to the house, as we stay seated in the car, my legs hanging out the open car door.  
  
"Is this okay?" he asks. I nod. He nods back. After grabbing my bag, we both jump out of the car and Spinner slams the door shut. Then he hurries to me, not that I'm walking or very far. I smile as we start walking. "So, you're doing okay now right?" Spinner asks. I swallow before nodding.  
  
"It's not something I want to talk about right now, Spinner," I say.  
  
"Sorry," he apologizes. We reach the door and walk inside. Jason has already begun watching TV. We both look at him then at his big screen TV that is showing some sort of retarded sport.  
  
"Ellie, you into sports?" Jason asks. I shake my head. "Why not?" he asks kind of confused. Spinner leads me over to the other end of Jason's couch after he shuts the front door. Jason keeps his eyes on me.  
  
"Because, it just, doesn't interest me," I say sitting next to Spinner. Jason chuckles.  
  
"Not even cheerleading?" he says knowing that I cringe at the word. I look over at Spinner and he looks back. I chuckle.  
  
"Imagine me, a cheerleader," I say. Spinner smirks.  
  
"Maybe not a cheerleader, but a lead singer," he smiles. Oh yeah! The band! I totally forgot!  
  
"Lead singer?" Jason asks. Spinner nods and looks at me.  
  
"Yeah, my friend Marco said she can really rock-out," Spinner compliments.  
  
"Oh yeah, that gay-dude," Jason says turning back to the TV.  
  
"That gay-dude, is my friend, and he has a name," I defend Marco. He quickly turns to me.  
  
"Oh, she bites," Jason chuckles. I look at him angrily. "Calm down, Ellie. No wonder you would want to help out at the crazy house," he turns back to his precious game. I stand up.  
  
"Shut the fuck up!" I say firmly. Jason's smile fades and puts all his attention towards me. Spinner grabs my hand and I pull away.  
  
"Chill the hell out," Jason says. "Don't get all mad and shit," he continues.  
  
"I can do whatever the fuck I want! Don't say that about me! You don't even know me," I say loudly.  
  
"Ellie-"  
  
"No! He's being an asshole!" I yell.  
  
"I know enough that you should belong to that damn freak home," he stands up. I become furious. I belong nowhere but in my own skin. Before I can think, I charge at him. I push him hard and to my surprise, he falls onto the floor. Spinner finally stands up; I grab my bag and walk hurriedly out the door.  
  
"How could you say that?" I hear Spinner yell.  
  
"She's a fuckin' loon"  
  
"Don't talk to her like that!" I hear him say. "That was messed up, Ellie doesn't deserve that. She's right, you are an asshole," then I hear Spinner's feet scrambling after me. "Ellie!" he calls. I turn around.  
  
"Take me home," I say. He finally reaches me and nods. "No, don't take me home," I say confused. My eyes shift. "Just," I start to cry. Then I feel his arms wrap around me and hold me. He strokes my hair.  
  
"Sh, forget him, Ellie," he says. I cry harder into his shirt and he tells me everything will be okay.  
  
+ - + - +  
  
"Yeah, uh-huh, we'll be here. Okay, bye," Spinner click his cell phone off. I stand there with my arms crossed. He looks at me. "My dad should be here in a few minutes," he assures me. I nod.  
  
"Sorry," I say. He looks confused.  
  
"For what?" he asks.  
  
"For bringing you into this, giving you hell," I say. He shakes his head.  
  
"That's not true. Ellie, I told you, whatever you need I have it, as long as it doesn't cost too much," he says. I smirk. "You know I'm here," he sweetly says. Then he pulls me closer and I just stay wrapped in his arms. Finally, his dad arrived. We both crawl in the back.  
  
"So, where are we headed to?" Spinner's dad asks. He looks nothing like Spinner. Spin shuts the door after he gets in.  
  
"Um," Spin looks at me then back at his dad. "Our house," he says. His dad nods. I bite my lip as we start to drive. I can't keep hiding. I shake my head.  
  
"No," I whisper. Spinner looks at me. "I want to go home," I say. I look up at Spinner's dad. "I'll give you directions as we drive"  
  
A/N: Hope you liked this chap. Short again. Sorry. I like suspense. What will happen when she gets home? Who knows? I do anyways; I have a little poll thing. From these 12 chapters, which one is your favorite? Review and tell me! 


	13. Unbroken

Held Captive  
  
Ellie has a passion Craig has a band Spinner has a secret, how will it all end?  
  
Contains; Romance, Discussions about cutting  
  
Pairings; Ellie Spinner, Ashley Craig, Marco Dylan  
  
Chapter Thirteen; Unbroken  
  
+ - + - +  
  
I watch each familiar house go by. Only a couple more until we reach our destination.  
  
"It's right there," I point. Spinner and his father follow my finger. His dad stops in front of the house and I look at Spinner, he looks back at me. "Thanks for everything," I say. He nods.  
  
"Yeah, no problem," he says. I look at his dad.  
  
"Thanks," I grab my bag and open the door of the car. Before slamming it I duck down and look at Spinner. We smile at each other and he gives me a wink. I chuckle a little and close the door. I walk around the car and throw my bag over my shoulder. The car drives off and I stand there looking up at the house. I swallow. This is it. I have to face her. I nod to myself and start up to the house. Somehow it doesn't look the same. It doesn't look mine. The lights are all on and I can hear some music. What the hell? I walk closer to the door. I ring the doorbell. I hear laughs and the door opens. I stare. It's my aunt Mary. I smile politely.  
  
"Hey aunt Mary, I'm home," I say awkwardly. She smiles.  
  
"Eleanor! Is that you? I haven't seen you in so long!" she says happily. She reaches out and grabs me. We hug for a minute then we pull away. "Oh gosh, your mom said you went on trip with your friend um, Ashley, I think it was?" she says thinking. Yeah, a trip, with my best friend Ashley. Right. Thanks mom. "Anyways, hope you had fun!" she said. I smile and nod.  
  
"Where's mom?" I ask. Those words make me scared. Mom.  
  
"She went out for something, but someone else is here to see you," she says in a teasing way. I know I look confused.  
  
"Who?" I ask. She steps away so I can enter. I slowly enter the house which isn't giving off the sent of alcohol. There he is. My dad. Sitting at the table. My face beams. I drop my bags quickly and hurry over to him.  
  
"Dad!" we squeeze each other so hard, he picks me up and gives me a hug. "Oh my gosh! I totally forgot you were coming back today!" I say stupidly after we let go.  
  
"I had to come back for you of course," he grinned. I did too. "How was you're trip?" he asks. I try to keep on my smile. What a trip it was. I clear my throat.  
  
"It-it was great. It was, it was fine," I stumble. He nods.  
  
"Happy you had a great time," he says. I nod. "How was mom?" he asks. Now I know my smile has faded and I can't even try to control it. I stay quiet. "Hunny, you okay?" he asks. I look up at him. His eyebrows rise.  
  
"I'll leave you two alone," Mary says. Then I hear the door slam shut. I still don't say anything. My dad ignores it.  
  
"Ellie, was everything all right while I was gone?" he asks concerned. I take a breath.  
  
"I wasn't on a trip, dad," I say shakily. He stays quiet. I glance up at him. "I was in-"I pause. Just say it, "I was in a mental institution," I say quietly. I know his eyes are wide and surprised.  
  
"Mental institution? What in the world were you doing there?" he asks sound a little uneasy. I glance down at my arm. I bite my lip. "Ellie?" he asks in a mere whisper. I start to hear myself breathe harder. He reaches over and slips down my arm warmer. My arm is split by a long gash pulled together by stitches; it's outlined with thin ones too. I hear myself whimper. This is the last thing I want dad to see.  
  
"I'm sorry," I look up at him with tears formed. He just stares at my face his eyes glassy and his nostrils flair. I hear the door open.  
  
"Oh my gosh that's terrible!" I hear Mary laugh before hearing mom. I turn my head slightly away from dads.  
  
"Mary, jokes are my talent, I can't help it," I hear my mom laugh. Then, I hear nothing but silence and the sniffling of my nose. "Oh, Ellie, you're back," she says a little surprised. I hear her come towards me. She puts her arms around me as if nothing's wrong. "What's wrong?" she asks. She stops rubbing my back and looks down at my clearly visible arm. She gasps and pulls my sleeve up hard and looks at my dad.  
  
"A trip, Angela?" my dad says a little choked up.  
  
"I'll see everyone later," I hear Mary call before leaving. I'm so stuck right now.  
  
"What did you think? I just wasn't going to find out?" he asks. Her hand falls off my back.  
  
"I didn't want you to be worried," she says. I look up at her. "I didn't want you to be scared," she adds. My dad shakes his head.  
  
"This is our daughter, Angela. Our daughter not just yours," amen to that. "If you worry, I should too," he says angrily.  
  
"Well, she has been in a place where they can help her, David. She's better, I know it," she places her hand on my back again. "So there's no need for yelling and all that drama. She needs some rest," she says. I'm happy to see my mom like this. But dad's here, so why wouldn't she be happy- go-lucky? My dad looks at me.  
  
"Is that all that has happened while I was gone, Ellie?" he asks holding onto my shoulders. I look at mom. She looks nervous. I look back at dad. His eyebrows rise for a moment. I swallow and nod.  
  
"Yeah," I say. I look over at mom who doesn't look any different. He takes his hands from my shoulders.  
  
"Are you sure you're okay?" he asks. Before I can speak mom takes me away.  
  
"Oh, David, stop with all the questions, can't you see she's worn out?" she says taking me up the stairs. I look back at dad before agreeing with mom about going upstairs. Once we reach my room I embrace from her hands. My room doesn't look any different. I sit on my own bed for once appreciating what I have. Mom stands in the doorway with her hands tangled in one another. It's silent. Mom rolls her eyes and comes to sit next to me on my bed. I just look at her.  
  
"Ellie," she pauses. She looks at me and smiles. I don't. "I'm sorry," she says. "For everything I've done. I was out of line, I admit. I needed to be there for you instead of against you," she explains.  
  
"Mom, I'm not going to tell dad if that's what you mean," I say. She shakes her head.  
  
"No, no that's not it," she says. "I agreed to get help, for you Eleanor," she puts her hand on mine. I look at her. "I don't want to be this horrible person anymore," she says her eyes teary.  
  
"It's stressful with dad away," I defend.  
  
"That's no excuse," her head hangs as she sniffles. She starts to cry. "My mom hit me," she confesses. I never really heard anything about Grandma. I met her a couple times, but she died a while ago. I couldn't believe she would hit mom though. "And when I realized what I did to you, I wanted to just, just die," she sobbed. I put my hand on her back. She looks up at me. Her eyes red like her nose. "I'm so sorry," she falls into my arms and we hug each other tightly.  
  
"Mom, it'll be all right," I say rubbing her back. I bite my lip. We pull away.  
  
"I don't want to make your life miserable anymore," she says wiping her eyes. I shake my head. She touches my arm. I swallow. "I want this scar to be the last," she whispers. I nod. "I want you to be happy," she adds. We both manage to smile. I hurry to wipe my tears away. We both chuckle a little. "I love you," she whispers. It feels so good to hear her say that again. I grin.  
  
"I love you too, mom," I say that in meaning. She leans over at kisses my forehead.  
  
"Get some rest," she says rising from my bed. I watch her walk out. She glances at me before closing the door. I smile to myself. Mom is changing. I actually believe her; I knew she could do it. If this keeps up, I might just be happy for a change.  
  
+ - + - +  
  
After I a while, I wake up. It seems a little darker outside but I don't mind. I yawn and pull myself up to the edge of my bed. It's quiet in the house. I get up from my bed and start over to my computer. I might have what, two messages? I turn on the screen and hurry to connect. I click 'inbox'. Five new messages. Wow. I click on the first one, Ashley. Oh gosh.  
  
To: PunkRock101  
  
From: PoeticTragedy  
  
Subject: NONE  
  
This email isn't sent to say sorry, because I'm not. I was told to give you your assignments from class, the teachers assume we're still friends, which we aren't. If you weren't skipping school 24/7 we wouldn't have this problem, would we? Ring me 2 get them.  
  
-Ash  
  
Anymore pathetic? She couldn't assault me if her life depended on it.  
  
To: PunkRock101  
  
From: 2Smart4u  
  
Subject: RE: RE: Grapevine Article  
  
Apparently you aren't willing you're piece to be edited, so it won't be published. I did like your piece, but I don't make the rules. You broke them, I was willing to fix them, but you ignored the fact that not everyone is at that mature age to read this. May be next time you'll try to publish your piece in a professional manner.  
  
Liberty Van Zhandt  
  
I roll my eyes. I won't reply this time. I click 'next'. It's Marco.  
  
To: PunkRock101  
  
From: FABulous  
  
Subject: Hey  
  
Where have u been? The band is still waiting for an answer. Spinner has been acting all weird lately, and no one is telling me where u r. Where r u? Email me back ok? Ciao.  
  
3 Marco  
  
To: PunkRock101  
  
From: BadChicken  
  
Subject: You there?  
  
Hey Ellie, are you living? Just wondering what's happening, haven't seen you, where ya been? All right, I'm out, peace  
  
JBrookes  
  
To: BadChicken  
  
From: PunkRock101  
  
Subject: RE: You there?  
  
Jimmy, let everyone know this, I'm alive and I'm here. I've been away but here is proof I'm back. I'll be in school tomorrow so you'll see Ellie in the flesh. I'll talk 2 you all 2marrow.  
  
|Ellie|  
  
I press 'send' and sigh. As I start to jump from my computer, I hear a high-pitched note. I turn back. I chuckle and sit back down.  
  
Spinner: punk rocker u there?  
  
PunkRock101: I have a name  
  
Spinner: Ellie  
  
PunkRock101: Yeah I'm here  
  
Spinner: How's everything going?  
  
PunkRock101: Okay I guess  
  
Spinner: U want me 2 come over?  
  
PunkRock101: No it's okay  
  
Spinner: okay you'll be in school 2marrow?  
  
PunkRock101: Yeah I can't afford to miss anymore school  
  
Spinner: :-*  
  
PunkRock101: You're such a cheese  
  
Spinner: :-******  
  
PunkRock101: Good-bye Spinner  
  
Spinner: 33333 u  
  
PunkRock101: ;-)  
  
[PunkRock101 has signed off]  
  
I can't believe what I'm doing. Dating Gavin Mason, I mean. The one who has been so annoying! Well Monday morning should be a blast. Can't wait to see my best friend Ashley.  
  
A/N: Hope u liked the chap.  
  
: -*= Kissing face  
  
;-)= Wink face  
  
3 = love 


	14. Favors

Held Captive  
  
Ellie has a passion Craig has a band Spinner has a secret, how will it all end?  
  
Contains; Romance, Discussions about cutting  
  
Pairings; Ellie Spinner, Ashley Craig, Marco Dylan  
  
Chapter Fourteen; Favors  
  
+ - + - +  
  
"All right, I'm leaving," I announce to everyone as I open the front door. Mom looks up at me. Dad must have already left. I smile still. She smiles back. She walks over to me.  
  
"Okay, so, everything is fine?" she asks. I nod. "Good, that's good. Um, just keep out of trouble, okay?" she says. I nod again. She puts her hand on my shoulder. I look up at her. We hug.  
  
"Thanks, mom. For everything," I say. She smiles and rubs my back. I close the door behind me and start down the stairs with a smile on my face.  
  
+ - + - +  
  
Okay, today, I see Ashley. I face everyone today. I hope I'm ready for this. I sigh and start up the stairs. I hear a giggle further away. I stop and look in the direction.  
  
"Bye, hun," Paige says to someone. I try to see the face but I can't. I see her hug and may be kiss. Must be a boyfriend. She turns my way with a grin but she's alone. She starts up the stairs happily. I keep my eyes on Paige. I shake my head and continue up the stairs myself. Inside, people are scattered. I swallow and keep my head down. I finally reach my locker safely. I place my bag on the floor and start to open it.  
  
"Ellie," I hear a voice call. I look to my left. There's Ashley. I roll my eyes and look back into my locker. "I'm positive you got my email," she says coming closer. I don't say anything. "Ellie," she says annoyed. I turn to her.  
  
"What?" I ask annoyed myself.  
  
"It's not going to be my fault if you don't turn in your homework," she tells me.  
  
"I wouldn't have time to do my homework, remember, I'm too hung up on Craig," I say closing my locker. I look at her. She looks down at the floor. "Remember? You knew it before I did," I remind her.  
  
"I'm sorry that I accused you of dating Craig," she mumbles. "I was little"  
  
"Jealous?" I fill in. She looks at me and nods. "Ash, I don't want Craig, believe me," I assure her. She nods.  
  
"Hope I didn't screw everything up," she says. I shake my head.  
  
"No, not entirely," I joke. She smiles. I pick up my bag.  
  
"So you don't hate me?" she asks. I shake my head again.  
  
"Just disappointed," we start walking. "I mean, me and Craig?" I look at her. She chuckles. "Yeah, exactly," I say.  
  
"I don't know what I was thinking," she says slapping her hands to her sides. It gets quiet. I look over at her.  
  
"I have a boyfriend," I blurt out. We stop. She stares at me, her mouth open in a smile. "What?"  
  
"Are you serious?" she asks. I chuckle. "Oh my gosh, Ellie!" she says happily. "I don't believe it, who?" we say starting to walk again. I look ahead and down the halls he comes. Spinner. I chuckle at him. Ashley looks over at him as she approaches.  
  
"No way," she says astonished.  
  
"Ellie," he says out of breath. We both laugh.  
  
"Well, um, I'll see you later," she says to me. I nod as she starts walking away amused. Spinner looks at me.  
  
"You okay?" I ask laughing at him. He nods.  
  
"Now," he says. I smile and we start to walk side by side. "How ya doin?" he asks. I nod.  
  
"Pretty good. Mom and I are okay now and dads back home," I say. He nods.  
  
"Happy that you're doing good," he says.  
  
"Hey, Spinner," I start off. He looks at me. "Do you know who Paige is dating? I saw her outside a minute ago, with some guy I think," I ask. Spinner looks straight ahead.  
  
"Oh," he says. I look over at him.  
  
"So, do you know?" I ask. He nods. I wait but there is no answer. "Well?" I ask.  
  
"She's dating Jason," he says flatly. I roll my eyes.  
  
"I can't wait for him to say something about gays," I tell him. Spinner shakes his head and chuckles. "Hey, can you tell Craig to meet me up at lunch? I need to talk to him," I request. Spinner nods. "Thanks," and with that a give him an innocent peck on the cheek. He looks at me. I smile and walk into homeroom.  
  
+ - + - +  
  
Lunch time comes around fast and I'm standing against my locker waiting for Craig. I look around but still no sign. I lay my head back against the locker.  
  
"Hey," I hear a voice. I look up. Craig. I politely smile. Hair still not combed. "Spin told me you wanted to talk?" he says. I nod.  
  
"Yeah, um," I swallow. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for everything," I apologize. He just looks at me.  
  
"Look, I know, you were upset," he says.  
  
"Yeah, but, you tried to help," I say. "I should have listened," I admit. He comes closer.  
  
"But you're better now, right? I mean, they helped you," he says. I sigh.  
  
"I guess you could say that," I truthfully say. He nods. "I wanted to ask a favor though," I say. "You know that Ashley likes you, right?" I say. His eyes widen.  
  
"Me?" he asks pointing to himself. I chuckle.  
  
"Yeah? You're all over each other, all the time," I say.  
  
"Really? I didn't think we were together much," he says astonished. I laugh.  
  
"Anyways, she does, and I know you do. So, show it," I ask of him. He bites his lip. "C'mon, you know you wanna," I tease. I smile and so does he.  
  
"Thanks for the advice," he says. I laugh.  
  
"No problem," I say. "Oh yeah, can you do me just one more favor?" I ask. He rolls his eyes playfully. I bite my lip. "Save me a spot in your garage, I'll be attending practice today," I confess. He laughs. We both grin. He bows down.  
  
"Of course," with that, he walks away. I laugh and roll my eyes. Everything's looking up for you Ellie, don't screw it up.  
  
A/N: sorry for another short chapter but I have to let everyone know: the next chapter will be the last. Sorry, but it's true. I'm really happy for those who liked this story, and thanks for all the reviews. I know I said that there were some upcoming stories in my other ended stories but some of them aren't going to be created. I didn't like them lol. But I do have one that I will be publishing. You'll learn about that in the next chapter. I really hope the ending is good for you! 


	15. Held Captive x Shattered Glass

Held Captive  
  
Ellie has a passion Craig has a band Spinner has a secret, how will it all end?  
  
Contains; Romance, Discussions about cutting  
  
Pairings; Ellie Spinner, Ashley Craig, Marco Dylan  
  
Chapter Fifteen; Held Captive – Shattered Glass  
  
+ - + - +  
  
- Two months later –  
  
I guess you can say I'm one of the happiest people alive right now. Yep, Eleanor Nash, happy. Who would have thought? Ashley and I are sticking together and not accusing each other of stupid things. Her and Craig have been an item for a while now, my plan worked. In front of the whole cafeteria, he sang her song on his guitar, and at the end, he gave her a dozen roses. She practically cried. It was a happy although vomiting moment. She promised I could be her maid of honor at their wedding. Which is what? A hundred years from now? Lucky me. Spinner and I, a steady couple. He comes over every now and then. Everyone was just so amazed by us being together. Hello? I'm allowed to date right? So that was broadcasted everywhere. Paige broke it off with Jason after he revealed his hatred for gays. How did I know? As for mom, she's doing so much better! She got into the program and hasn't drunk since our little incident. She has a mood swings but she has a strategy for keeping them under control. Dad isn't home as much but when he is, he makes it worth it. As for me, I'm still struggling but I'm doing so much better with mom and Spinner there. I'm not as unhappy as I use to be.  
  
The band. As you know, I've joined and we've come so far! I'm lead singer and I'm lovin it! We have our first song down! It's called Shattered Glass. It sounds amazing! We've found a name for our band, Held Captive. I like it. And since we have everything pieced together, we're going to have a battle of the bands! Yep, a place called House Of Blues. We're totally going to rock-out! Craig's solo sounds so great! My original lyrics are cool too. I knew my black book of words would come in handy for my dreams! I've always wanted a band and I hid it in that black book but not anymore. Can't wait for the BOTB (battle of the bands).  
  
"Okay, are we ready?" I ask the three. Everyone nods. I breathe heavily. "I cannot believe we're doing this," I say happily.  
  
"Elle, calm down, we'll be fine," Spinner says. I hold onto my mic and look back at him. He grins.  
  
"Sh, they might here us," Marco whispers. I bite my lip hard and look forward at the red curtain.  
  
"So here they are! Give it up for, Held Captive!" The curtains start to rise and my hands shake nervously. I swallow hard when the red creates the crowd. It's big. Not huge but big enough for me to want to jump off and run away. My eyes shift over the heads. I'm shaking so bad right now. I hear Spinner very faintly 'one two three' the guitars sound off and so does the drums. It starts off good and I wait for my cue from Craig. His guitar lets off a hard sound cueing me. I remember the lyrics in my head.  
  
'Piece by piece I've fallen, and only you can put me together again' I start. I continue on with the verse settling into hearing my own voice around the huge room. My voice sounds a bit shaky but I continue and start to fall into it. 'Shattered glass among the floor' the chorus starts. I grin as people start to cheer. I keep on going and soon I start shaking around my hair and moving my mic around. The cheers get louder and my mind is filled with lyrics. I look over at Craig while I still sing and he's ready for this. He's ready to go for the solo. 'Break me!' I scream through the mic then there goes his guitar. Loud and vibrating. I almost laugh. This is so amazing. It only last a few seconds but I can feel it in my skin. I go back to the chorus, which I sing over and over until I can barely breathe which doesn't faze me much. 'Break me!' I scream one last time. The crowd roars and I get uncontrollable Goosebumps. We all bow with a smile as the light dims and the curtains fall. As soon as they do, I turn away from my microphone and practically scream in laughter. I run immediately to Spinner. I jump into his arms and hold him tight.  
  
"Oh my gosh," he laughs. I laugh back. We pull away and look at each other happily. I hurry in for the kiss. Passionate and romantic. I hold onto his neck and he holds onto my waist. I know their watching. I pull away and grin. "I love you," he whispers. I chuckle.  
  
"I love you too," I finally say. Our first time saying this. Ever. We both laugh and he holds me in his arms.  
  
That night we won. We didn't exactly get to go to L.A. But we did get a trophy although I don't think that was my reward. I got something so much more. My own happy life and someone who will stay with me forever, my love, Spinner Mason.  
  
THE END –  
  
I love my own ending lol.... I don't know about you but I liked it. Yeah some of the stuff sounds lame, the name, Held Captive, I just thought it would be cool since the title told you the story all along. And the secretive black book held her dream, singing. Shattered Glass was written by me so don't steal it, you can still say that the song sucked cause I don't want you to hold back anything! Ellie is happy!!! Well, here is one review of my new story: Sundown Colors:  
  
She was the girl who turned hot in a day. The one who turned into Craig's side dish. The one who turned into a mom. Until of course, she decided to not have her precious gift. Is Craig willing to accept her back? Or is it someone else she's meant to be with? No this isn't a Craig/Manny story, I don't want to give so much away. Keep your eye out for it! 


End file.
